But then, I went social media with my journey and have be exposed to so many new and different thoughts and opinions on the whole gender play thing and must say I can't stop thinking about immersing myself into the ways and means of a woman. Certainly sexually speaking for now, but who knows? So now i'm consumed, yes consumed, with the thought of sex as a woman. For me, that entails giving blowjobs, and being penetrated by a man. i'm vulnerable... i'm ready... i'm aroused just typing this out right now.
Not that I care what that makes me in terms of hetero, homo, etc, but I frankly don't know what I am except for being a man, loving to wear woman's clothes, and willing to explore the fantasy of being a woman sexually. So it would seem as though my fantasies of dressing up and being like a woman are becoming more of a reality to me. I can't wait!
I've tried to capture some cartoon/fantasy images that appeal to me and the reasons they do...
At this point, this pretty much sums up the clarity and confusion I have about sexuality. I'm happy with the thought of being EITHER person here: the beautiful redhead that is doing the penetrating and man-handling, or the young boy who has submitted himself to being penetrated. they both seem to be happy and i'd like to know how it feels both ways. I think I'd be dripping all over, too.
Take your pick... I don't care who is who here, but I like it all. Short skirts and penis' everywhere is a good starting point to a great fantasy. Oh, and my thirst for a man's cum has become intriguing to me. Wouldn't mind trying... crazy? I think not.
The girl penetrating is clearly having a good time... I can see why. but frankly the submissive she-devil is the person I want to be here. not only is she gorgeously sexy, but she's having so much fun her eyes seem to be rolling to the back of her head! what a sexual experience!!! i'm jealous.
So I dress up alone while in a hotel room frequently. I've thought about inviting somebody over to explore my... curiosities... I imagine this is what i'd expect to happen if I carried out this to a reality:
Don't know what to say about this except that if I were "trapped" in this situation my boner would be just about as hard as hers. Maybe i'd pretend to fight it for a little bit, but then ultimately just give in and submit to the helplessness:
Yep, this would be my facebook photo of me. Cute, sexy, powerful, confident, and ready to penetrate! Oh, and I suppose the boobs would be nice on a skimpy outfit like that as well:
Back to reality, I think the next step for me will be to buy a dildo, get dressed up, and see where that takes me. I still don't understand why most of the images I see of men being penetrated shows their penis flaccid. From what I know about myself, if i'm penetrated, my penis is going to be straight as and arrow and hard as a rock! just like all the images I've shared today.
Love to you all!
xoxo,
Jess
